Friday, 17 March 2017

Tall Tales from a Grandmother

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Tall Tales from a Grandmother


A small boy is delivered to Nanny. Sometimes there are giggles, sometimes there are tears but a typical day goes something like this.......



Come and clean your teeth with Nanny
No, no, no, no, no!

What would you like for breakfast?
Chocolate egg pls

You can't have a chocolate egg for breakfast, would you like a scrambled egg?
Chocolate egg pls

Fairies haven't been yet so no chocolate egg
CHOCOLATE EGG PLS!

Would you like scrambled egg?
CHOCOLATE EGG!

*big sigh* Have toast?
No, no, no, no, no. Egg, pls.

Scrambled?
Yes, pls.

Time to get dressed
No, no, no, no, no!

Shall we go to the park?
Yes, yes, yes *Excited dance*

Then let's get dressed
No, no, no, no, no!

Come and put your shoes on
No, no, no, no, no!

Please put your shoes on
No, no, no, no, no!

Half an hour later

Please put your shoes on or we are not going to the park
No, no, no, no, no! Park, park, park.

That's a good boy
Good boy

Come and climb into the car
No, no, no, no, no - Hat! Hat! *runs and gets hat*

Good boy, now sit down
No, no, no, no, no!

If you sit down we can go to the park
No, no, no, no, no!

Please sit down or we can't go to the park
OK, *singing*

What would you like to play on? Swing? Slide?
No, no, no, no, no! - Nanny chase me, more, more, more.........

Stop! Don't run away!
No, no, no, no, no! Nanny run!

Two hours later

It's time to go home
*Stamps feet* no, no, no, no, no!

Repeat getting into car, and sitting in car seat, and add getting out and chasing down the road. Finally get indoors. Have lunch. Full details of lunch will be published in volumes 2, 3 and 4.

Time to have your nappy changed
No, no, no, no, no! iPad, iPad, iPad!

It's time for a nap
No, no, no, no, no! Got head hurt, got leg hurt, done poo! *bounce, bounce, bounce*

Did you have a nice sleep
Yes, iPad, iPad, iPad

Time to have your nappy changed
No, no, no, no, no! iPad, iPad, iPad!

Car pulls up, key in the door.

It's mummy and daddy! Hello mummy, hello Daddy

Was he a good boy?

Good boy *beaming smiles*

Yes, he was an angel 

Tall Tales from a Grandmother because grandchildren can do no wrong.

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